and you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it’s sinking

i've been thinking a lot about a lot of things lately. i always am, but i think for the first time since i've been a grown up, i.e. moving to cincinnati, i'm actually thinking about things a little bit differently. for the first year of being a grown up, i thought about how to solve a problem that i now understand may be unsolvable, and i thought about every possible way to drown out the loneliness from what i felt at the time was the equivalent of being left at the altar. between those two things, that pretty much occupied my thoughts for about the year. that was a hard year. for my second year of being a grown up, i thought about what makes me happy. i thought about what i value, what i believe in, what i want. a year ago, i said i knew who i was, and i actually may have thought i did, but i know now so much more about myself than i ever did, and i also know i'll always keep learning more and more about myself. so what am i thinking now? i'm thinking about the years to come. what i should be doing in the next year to help set me on the right path. i know that everything will turn out okay at the end of the day, and i know that what happens in the next year doesn't determine the rest of my life, but i also know that we make certain decisions in life that result in certain outcomes, and different decisions can result in very different outcomes. so i think this is going to be a big year with big decisions. i know this doesn't necessarily sound different from me over the past two years, but it's the decisions that i'm leaning towards that are different. the things that i want are different than the things i wanted two years ago.

i think it’s better to have someone, even if it’s the most painful thing you’ve ever had to do

"i don't want you to date other people. it may not be enough for you, but i'm trying here so i don't want you to date anybody but me. that's it. except, i'm scared as hell to want you, but here i am wanting you anyway. and fear means i have something to lose, right? and i don't want to lose you."

you spend all your time preaching about waiting for love. here it is, right in front of you.

"i'm sick of sleeping with these insipid manhattan debutantes."

i’m gonna teach you to fly

we can be better. we don't have to be like them. we don't have to end up like them. we've already come so far. our history is not our future. we've made mistakes, but we've learned, and we'll keep making mistakes, and we'll keep learning. the people who are in our lives today won't necessarily hurt us like those who hurt us in our past. we can better, if we want to...if we want more. we don't have to be scared. the best is yet to come.