happiness is two kinds of ice cream

so i think i'm generally pretty good at understanding people, but i have one friend who i have never understood in the 3.5 years that i've known him. now after this past weekend, i think that's changed. i suddenly understand him. while i'm glad i understand, at the same time, i'm sad that i do. he's honestly one of the most incredible people i've ever met in my life, and what drives him is the same thing that prevents him from being happy. and i don't believe he's miserable, and i know that we have different definitions of happy, but still he deserves, to be happy, truly happy...we all deserve to be happy.

so i asked him to make a list of things that make him happy, and in return, he asks me, "what is happiness?" and that i needed to clearly define my definition of happiness for him to be able to make this list. charlie brown says happiness is two kinds of ice cream (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKKjqzkGo3o&feature=related). i agree with charlie. the dalai lama says happiness is a state of mind achieved through the following:
1) training the mind
2) developing calmness of mind
3) building up positive states
4) cultivating good habits (and eliminating bad ones)
5) welcoming change
6) developing a long-term perspective
7) knowing the meaning of suffering
8) developing deep relationships
9) developing a sense of compassion
10) releasing your buddha nature, i.e. enlightenment
i also agree with tenzin (yes, we're on a first name basis).

but for me, happiness is also my massive list of facebook interests below. every one of these things make me happy. some of them make me more happy than others, but every one of these is on there for a reason. and looking at this constantly expanding list, i realize why i'm so happy. i experience several of these things on my list every day. my life is filled with happiness.

of course there are some important things that are missing in my life, but they'll come in due time. i'm young and in no rush. and when it happens, whether it's tomorrow or ten years from now, it'll happen when it's right.

so to answer my friend's question, what is happiness? i believe happiness is feeling completely comfortable with yourself. and true happiness happens when nothing else matters except what's happening at that moment. think about what makes you happy, who makes you happy, when you're most happy. it's when you feel good about yourself - whether it's a major accomplishment or if you look good in a pair of jeans or if it's when you're indulging in your favorite dessert. happiness comes from people who also make you feel good about yourself - your family, your friends, your co-workers, whoever. so yes, it's the big things like graduating from college, having the dream job, going on vacation, but it's also the little things, when you walk outside at night and look up and see the stars, when your kitty sits on your keyboard when you're trying to type, when you have a fantastic glass of wine. enjoy it all. i mean, why not? i think when i share this with my friend, he'll understand what my definition of happiness is, or at least i hope so, and i hope he finds the happiness he deserves.

on another note, i don't understand why parents make their children feel so miserable. i know its not usually intentional, but seriously, shouldn't parents be a little more self-aware? i mean they've done a lot in their lives, they've raised grown children, shouldn't they know by now what they may say or not say, do or not do, has a tremendous impact on their children? in most cases, i believe that all parents want is for their children to be happy. but someone i know now reminds me of someone i knew some time ago. both of them are brilliant, good-hearted, successful people, and yet their parents, manage to make them feel like they're never good enough. i just don't get it.

and here's my last thought before i finish some work on my econ paper, i'm getting a new dog! well, not exactly, i'm having a roommate move in, and he has a dog that is unbelievably cute and well-behaved. so it'll be awesome because i'll have all the perks of a dog, but none of the serious responsibilities. i'll be able to hang out with toby in the evenings, but i don't have to worry about taking him to the vet or buying his food or finding a place for him to stay when i travel. and what's even better, is my roommate is also incredible. when he responded to my craig's list posting, he sounded too good to be true, so much that i thought it was maybe a scam of some sort. but no, it's not, he's clean, responsible, very sweet, and we had a great conversation. i'm amazed at all his knowledge and accomplishments. seriously, what more could i ask for?! an awesome roommate with an adorable dog, it really doesn't get much better than this!

interests (http://www.facebook.com/yanger06):
running, hiking, traveling, snorkeling, cooking, eating, painting, photoshop, reading, family, friends, strawberries, skirts, my nano, sitting outside on my porch, tide, downy, bounce, snowmen, the underside of leaves, passionate people, quirks, people when they're in their element, calphalon one, wushtof, 1213, michigan football, the big house, the rose bowl, the law quad, the arb, dominick's, bubble tea, oriental express fried rice, panchero's, angelo's cinnamon raisin bread, zingerman's, hellman's mayonnaise, turkey sandwiches, juiceboxes, packing my lunch for work like a second grader, graeter's, schlotzky's, vws, bay windows, sunshine, mister bettasaurus rex, my bed, my dresser, flowers, the big kids on the block, belly button rings, yangerisms, japan, newcastle, oberon, williams-sonoma, j. crew, rembrandt, van gogh, art museums, musicals, dinosaurs, children's books, painted toenails, ketchup only on my hot dogs and mustard only on my hamburgers, ruthai’s thai, jo an's, lettuce wraps, ice skating, broomball, ault park, picnics, making lists, driving with my windows down, citi dividends, $2 bills, fugacity, thunderstorms, mcdonald's breakfast, jackson hole, monte cristos from your's truly, quality, tradition, wireless, stucci's, hardwood floors, jackson and cayman, skydiving, fall, apple picking, sweaters, sunday dinners, thanksgiving, knee socks, making wreaths, christmas decorations, cedar chests, chicago, tutoring, sleeping in, hole-in-the-walls, smiling, fresh squeezed orange juice, underwater photos, the sound of water, sunrises, angel wings, the girls at devries, surprises, music boxes, kookaberras, beet salads, bedtime giggles, monopoly, antique chess sets, kayaking, running against the wind, glaciers, biking, hunan by the falls, ansel adams, pineapple sherbet, lookout joe, walking to the square, manhattan portage, megabus, convection ovens, upsets in college football (except against michigan), gumbo, football saturdays, unlimited breadsticks and salad at olive garden, black twistie ties, goat cheese, scrambled eggs with feta, reubens, sourdough, wii, having two pinky toenails, apples to apples, yankee candles, tea, risotto, pad thai, general tso's, sushi, vacation days, losing track of time, listening to alexa's stories, being ridiculous, irish car bombs, lazy sundays, lloyd carr, looking up, hope, chicken soup and rice, the first snowfall, earmuffs, live music, free parking, gnocchi, the smell of hockey, sunglasses, photography, growing, learning, teaching, giving, made up words, the idiotarod, new york, dumpling house, brunch, dreaming, change, modesty, wittiness, lilies, dragon fruit, meeting people from around the world, yawning like a lion, cooking dinner together, potbelly hot peppers, guacamole, white tequila chased by peaches with cinnamon, frozen grapes, mail, school, looking at things a little differently, believing, the days that make all the others worthwhile, olympics, making life happen, laughing with my entire body, giggling so much i can't even talk, surprising myself, confidence, trusting, details, imagination, being a head rest, friendly people, trying to wink, shenanigans, photos, climbing, smartwool, steep and cheap, kellogg, trying to remember what life was like before i started spending ten hours a week in the van, puffs, marketing, storage bins, dim sum, gailon, fortune cookies, coincidences, courage, innovation, being inspired, dil se, jeopardy, banter, nicknames, middle names, patagonia, la cruz del sur, pippi longstocking, mud, rainbows, frolicking, asking questions, reflection, montana jerky co., dulce de leche, nutella, merken, casa lapostolle, running at sunrise, horseback riding, indulging, reconnecting with people who have been influential in my life, heaven on earth, sharing, slim's, melt, connect four, bloody mary's, unconsciously singing, taking off my shoes, pranks, kreena’s vocabulary, 100 things to do before i die, sleeping, happiness, simplicity, cool weather, change of seasons, barbecue, routines, interesting conversations, wishes, getting into work early, building castles, medicine ball bowling, carpooling, argo tea, farms, old trees, turning up the volume in my car, songs with the word ‘shorty’, dancing, getting lost in the moment, playing in the rain, opening someone’s eyes, putting it all together, understanding, being a dork, walks, pets with personalities, the unexpected