work it harder, faster, better, stronger

i very much enjoy being the support for my friends, but after being the support for someone all friday night, i realize, i also want to be the one who can fall apart. over the years, i've learned to be strong, and i think i am, but sometimes it would be nice to feel like i can just be a mess, that i can cry, that i can scream, that i can freak out about something, i think that it just makes you feel a little more human rather than being this happy, optimistic, smiling girl with the incredible friends and family, dream job, the once-in-a-lifetime chance to go to one of the best school's in the country, who is calm and collected all the time. lately i feel that i am simply a mess, as last night i slept 13 hours, but the 7 nights prior, i slept a total of only 25 hours. but somehow everyone else seems so impressed that i'm so put together, that i'm all those other things, when really inside i just feel a mess.

i think i'm just saying that i just want to act like a 25-year-old girl every once in awhile. looking forward to the upcoming two weeks of being one.