if the sun refused to shine, i would still be loving you

i am thankful:
for the wife, who says it's hot dogs tonight,
because she is home with me, and not out with someone else.
 
for the husband, who is on the sofa being a couch potato,
because he is home with me and not out at the bars.  

for the teenager, who is complaining about doing dishes,
because it means she is at home, not on the streets. 

for the taxes i pay
because it means i am employed.
 
for the mess to clean after a party  
because it means i have been surrounded by friends.
 
for the clothes that fit a little too snug
because it means i have enough to eat.
 
for my shadow that watches me work
because it means i am out in the sunshine.  

for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing
because it means i have a home.
 
for all the complaining i hear about the government
because it means we have freedom of speech. 

for the parking spot i find at the far end of the parking lot
because it means i am capable of walking and i have been blessed with transportation.
 
for my huge heating bill
because it means i am warm.
 
for the lady behind me in church who sings off key
because it means i can hear.
 
for the pile of laundry and ironing
because it means i have clothes to wear.
 
for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day  
because it means i have been capable of working hard.
 
for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours
because it means i am alive.

and i am thankful:
for the crazy people i hang out with
because they make it fun and interesting to be alive.

i'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her

"where have you been?! i've been waiting and waiting for you! and i did this stupid, embarrassing, humiliating, corny thing. and i was just gonna tell you that, this over here is our kitchen and this is our living room, and over there that's the room where our kids could play. i had this whole thing about i was gonna build us a house, but i don't build houses because i'm a surgeon! and now i'm here feeling like a lame ass loser. i got all whole and healed and you don't show up. and now it's all ruined because you took so long to come home! and i couldn't even find that bottle of champagne."
 

you don't have any rights to anything until you ask. just have to find the person who's worth asking...or maybe i just need to grow some balls.

once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale

a few weeks ago, my friend amanda married her wonderful husband, chuck.  i've been to half a dozen weddings or so, but this was the first wedding that i've been to that the couple just seemed so incredibly happy.  this was the first wedding that i went to that felt like, without a doubt, this couple would be happily married for the rest of their lives.  when i was living with amanda four years ago, she had met chuck.  after a bit of on-and-off dating, and finally really getting to know each other, they're now together forever.  it's been so fun watching them grow together.  

in april, my sister will marry patrick, another wonderful person, and what a truly perfect fit.  they're each other's favorite person, an absolute best friend.  meghan has been one person i've always looked up to, and i'm so excited to see her so happy.  my best friend alexa will get married in june to tom.  i couldn't be happier for alexa, she loves tom more than anything in this world, and they've dated now for seven years.  they've been through a lot, but the way they've both grown over the past years has shown that they'll be able to make this work for a lifetime.  then, in september, my friend, chris, will get married to stephanie, a girl i haven't met yet, but the first time chris told me about her, i knew they would get married.  it's funny, but i just knew, you can tell by the way a person talks about their person, and you just know.  when my friend dan met his girlfriend liz, i just knew as well, they'll definitely get married someday.

my closest friend in cincy, kreena, just got engaged to bobby.  another couple i knew would get married.  what an absolutely perfect couple.  they're so silly and fun together, always, despite both being in school, despite having a long distance relationship.  i hope that someday i have a relationship like theirs.  i read an e-mail bobby sent to our head of admissions, and couldn't help but cry, because of their fairy-tale story. bobby was kreena's student ambassador at kellogg.  now, two years later, they're engaged.  kreena is the person who made me realize there really are people out there who have genuinely good hearts, she is one of them, and since then, i've met two others who have genuinely good hearts as well.  one of these people is christine.  christine is dating kevin, and someday, they too will get married.

for all of these stories, it's been so special for me to watch my family and friends fall in love and grow together in each of these relationships.  the incredible amount of happiness that happens when they each found "their person" is something that is irreplaceable.  it's just the beginning of their fairy tale.  it'll be even more special to see them each continue to grow over the years as they start their families.  i hope i continue to get to be a part of their fairy tales every step of the way.

i'm falling apart, i'm barely breathing

the last few months i've been a bit of a mess, and sadly, i know it's not going to get better in the next 14 months. so i decided i need a true intervention, a life change. i need a routine. this routine will be rooted around sleeping hours of 11:30 to 5:30 and go from there. i've gained 10-15 lbs in the last year, and for the first time in my life, i don't feel good about my body. every single one of my health metrics are great, except my body fat percentage is at moderate risk. i need to get rid of this excess weight as soon as possible, and definitely before the spring. to establish a routine, it takes something like three months of commitment, so here are the things i'm committing to work on until i feel like i have some sense of normalcy back in my life. we'll see if this works. i hope so. i need it to.

work:
in by 8:30, leave by 6:30 (4-5 days per week)
be on time to meetings (90% of the time)
limit e-mails and multi-tasking (80% of the time)

school:
at least all homework for 1 class done on sundays (every week)

health:
bed by 11:30, up by 5:30 (every week day)
limit calories to 1500 (6-7 days per week)
lose 10-15 pounds (by april)
drink 1 liter of water (everyday)
floss (everyday)

exercise:
at least 30 min of running/biking (3x per week)
100 crunches, 100 jump ropes, 10 push-ups (2x per day)

so whoever may be reading this, if any of you actually know me or see me on a daily basis, hold me to this routine. make sure that i don't stray. i need your help.

on another note, to knock off two of the items on my 100 things to do before i die, i'm starting my "learn something new everyday" list (theyanger06daily.blogspot.com) and i'm committing to becoming a consciously safer driver since i'm buying a new car. between chicago and being late for everything, this will be tough, but it's important.