yanguinn publishing

me:  i did the whole "go on a date with every kind of person in cincinnati possible" thing three years ago, and then i was so bored/annoyed, i decided to date kellogg instead. but i guess i'm breaking up with him in 41 days and 5 saturdays. he was way too needy and time consuming.

mr. imagination:  oh, kellogg. you aren’t the first to succumb to his temptations. he lures you in with promises of a better life. “stick with me baby, i’ll make you a star!” you hesitate at first, reluctant to make such a huge commitment. at times you just wanted to stop and take a break. “come on kellogg, give me just one weekend to myself!” you could see a change in his eyes. the glimmer of support and encouragement had now turned to rage and disgust. “you think this is easy? you think i let just anyone into my world? i got women beating down my door just trying to get a taste of the kellogg-life. and now you say you want a break? if you walk out that door, i don’t ever want to see you come back. i’ll replace you in two seconds. i don’t need you, you need me! now go fetch my slippers and my pipe. daddy’s gotta relax.”

can anyone tame this beast? you thought you could. you thought you could bring light to where only darkness resides. you thought you saw characteristics of love and compassion behind kellogg’s rough exterior but now, after months of abuse and ridicule, you begin doubting whether kellogg is the love of your life or merely another project to “fix”. his bad-boy image was more a product of his environment than his genetics. his father, absent as he may have been, was a brilliant plastic surgeon/stock broker who had no time for family. both kellogg and his mother were spoiled beyond imagination until the day the fbi kicked in their door. it seems the good doctor was trading insider business information for nose jobs. kellogg had already developed a disdain for his hands-off parental units and now had an unhealthy contempt for higher levels of authority. he took to the streets. drugs and women were his game. he bought low, sold high and kept a tight reign on his stable of women. yet through all of the dirt and grime, kellogg always carried a photo of his one true love, esmeralda, his family’s portuguese maid and winner of kellogg’s virginity at the age of twelve. The fbi deported esmeralda after his father’s arrest, further strengthening his hatred for his family and the law.

to be continued...